Foreign at Home and Away

Publications

Foreign at Home and Away
Foreign-Born Wives in the U.S. Foreign Service

by Margaret Bender

(New York & Lincoln, Neb.: Writers Club Press, September 2002)

185 pp (est.), notes, bibliography, glossary, index
softcover: one low price $16.95

It is estimated that one-third to one-half of the women married to U.S. Foreign Service officers are foreign-born. In Foreign at Home and Away, Australian-born author Margaret Bender has drawn on her own twenty-five years' experience as a Foreign Service wife and on extensive interviews she conducted with forty women from twenty-eight countries to describe Foreign Service life from the perspective of these foreign-born wives. Their stories are woven throughout the book according to the themes of each chapter. Included are topics such as transitions, work, children, the special issues of senior wives and CIA wives, marital problems, life after the Foreign Service, and the experience of going DADS1 to their home countries after long absences.

Marion Creekmore, Jr., former U.S. Ambassador to Sri Lanka and Carter Center Program Director

"Margaret Bender has written an illuminating, highly readable book on the challenges that confront foreign-born spouses of U.S. Foreign Service officers. Her subjects are courageous, committed, and inspiring. . . . This engaging book, which I strongly recommend, also provides important insights on the demands faced by all foreign service spouses."

This is a women's story, an immigrant story, and a Foreign Service story. Its relevance extends to people in similar situations the military, international organizations, and transnational businesses and will appeal to all readers drawn to well-told, authentic personal stories. Bender has written a book that is highly readable and revealing, one that draws the reader in to learn more about the complexities, satisfactions, and challenges of the women's lives.

Mette Beecroft, Former President, of the Associates of the American

Foreign Service Worldwide (AAFSW):

"Margaret Bender's book is the first ever to examine the special concerns of the foreign-born spouse in the U.S. Foreign Service. As a member of this group herself, she is especially well qualified to comment. All Foreign Service spouses have many concerns in common. However, the foreign-born spouses who bears the extra burden of feeling foreign both at posts overseas and in the U.S. experiences this itinerant life in a unique way.

"Through many rich examples drawn from extensive interviews, this beautifully written book provides much information on what makes the foreign-born spouse's experience unique, and often additionally stressful. The foreign-born spouse must seek to combine two cultures to make them hers. She must learn English well enough to function. She must tackle the emotionally charged issue of whether or not to become a U.S. citizen. And often she may wish (and may not be able) to pass on her native tongue to her children.

"This book should be required DADS1ground reading for a variety of people: for the prospective foreign-born spouse; for her husband-to-be; for their families; for principal officers at posts [with] a large number of foreign-born spouses; and for Human Resources professionals in any U.S. agency that sends people overseas. They all would acquire a much better understanding of this growing segment of the foreign service community."

Norma McCaig, founder, Global Nomads International

"There is nothing 'trailing' about these women, whose voices resonate with power and individuality. From a permanent state of otherness, they negotiate social, cultural, political, and emotional complexities in their marriages, their parenting, and every adult life transition. Long overdue . . ."

Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training

Location: NFATC / Foreign Service Institute
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